sweet nothings
i love you just how you are
Hi friend,
A few months ago I told myself I'd write these notes every two weeks, commit to sticking to a schedule instead of being so loose.
But my life this past week has looked like this:
On Saturday I got home from spring break vacation with my family. On Sunday I planned and held a “birthday party-lite” for my now 8-year-old. On Monday I hosted the rest of a TV interview in my home, recovered from vacation home-wise, prepared for my consulting work trip work-wise, and taught yoga. On Tuesday I taught yoga and then flew to Texas for work. I spent Wednesday and Thursday visiting 19 classrooms, each day leading a teams of six plus adults in looking at the quality of instruction and giving the district feedback on their instruction and academic strategy (if you’re not familiar, being in 38 classrooms in two days is a lot!) before hopping on a late flight home. In the same week, I engaged with my aging parents, learned of a loved one who is very ill, and had my children say I was both the worst and also cry giant tears about when I was coming home.
AND YET, my mind still called: Get the letter out on schedule. When I draw that line in the sand in my head—say I’m going to do something, commit to a timeline—it is one I will work tirelessly to cross.
I am positive that the prison of my own expectations (partially) led to my breaking, to my postpartum psychosis.
So today I send you (us): sweet nothings. A reminder that the balance of embracing our impermanence: the energy of being truly present with the ones in front of us right now, those that we love and struggle with, those we don’t know that well—while also becoming: with a mind and heart that pulls us towards new things, callings, desires to make the most of our time here—is tricky to navigate. That the art of being human is complex. And it’s okay to notice, acknowledge that, and be easy with ourselves through it.
At the end of the day I want to remember: breathe, be right here, notice—it’s enough. In fact, it’s everything. And I think it’s the means to the end, more than any plan or schedule.
You don’t have to get the letter out (or whatever the thing might be for you). Truth be told, I love you just how you are.
Meghan
Ps. If you’re reading this, you noticed, I got the letter out :). The way I decided was checking in with my body, asking if it would bring me joy, if it felt like a way to care for myself. Maybe that’s the way to figure out if it’s truly in service of ourselves. If a habit or expectation is a cage or a road to freedom. (That and the fact that a work trip meant nights not with my kids, time off from the "second/third" shift.)
Pps. I've started a new Instagram with some of my writing and mindfulness work. If you'd like to follow along, it's here. If you appreciate these notes, please forward them to a friend. And if you're so moved, tell me why you appreciate them here (I'll use it to build my newsletter audience and shape future content as relevant).
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LISTENS & READS
Below I've included a couple listens and a book that are related to living well, healed.
Gloria Steinem on We Can Do Hard Things: Laughing Our Way To Liberation
RAIN of Self Compassion: Longer talk here and shorter meditation here (a repeat share)
CONNECTED PRACTICE
PUT A HAND ON YOUR HEART, TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS: It just feels good. There's also science behind it.